I think I ate my 5 pounds back to my body

this picture is from engrish.com I think it's funny

Had junk food galore this weekend. I think it's PMS.

My birthday dinner was so natural and raw. It was FUN & VERY INTERESTING. Because the next day it triggered something inside of me!!!
WARNING: Malfunction on a nerve.

I was wired with french pressed coffee and swedish fishes then on to lay's potato chips and list goes on and on... I kept eating baaaaaaaaaad things.

No one to stop me. Just kept on going. Tomorrow the fam comes back. good I need guidance.

All the hard work of working out back on my bod.... Must try to work it off again... sigh...

one more thing!

OKAY!!!!!

I went to macmall to buy some of my geek supplies and the sales guy started to flirt with me!!!!!!
and gave me an extra discount from the price!!!!!!!
and asked me for my email.!!!!!!!
He thought I was younger than 25!!!!
He said my eyes are beautiful!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

Too bad though... cuz' all that time I was thinking of the sexy handsome last week...

BUT!!!

I got hit on my birthday. 37 years old near 40... I still got it..

I love my mom

Mom and Jazz last year 2009.

I love my mom, though it's like a love hate relationship. She called to wish me happy birthday for about a minute then it was all about fixing the computer and the senior club she is part of..... BUT I love my mom. She called.

Happy Birthday to ME

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to m
Happy birthday to me...

okay... yup this year. I was totally alone when it turned midnight. No fam, no little jazz, no man. Just me... in bed alone in a lonely big house that is not mine... writing a pitiful blog about how pitiful I am.

So, I guess
June 25, 2010 12:01 AM is the day I make my goal to never have this happen to me in the future... ever!

clean room

Well, as a japanese we always clean the whole house before the new year. So, today I cleaned my whole room before my final countdown of my birthday. Fresh day tomorrow.

Then I picked up little m from day care. Made her some noodles and watched disney princesses and ate ice cream. Then MP came to pick her up. He said he couldn't do it anymore. He's sending lil m up n. I'm so sensitive to these things, it disturbs me... I felt so sad for mp. I know he tried the best he could to make it work. single dad trying to do everything. I respect my friend so much, I cry for him. At least he found a really nice GF that is giving. I pray lil m will always remember the b family and auntie m. I guess I must cherish the time I will have til' she goes...

On a good note: yeah japan.. 3-1!!!

And as for my mind boggle, I need to get a 1-2 TB hard disk (200-300bucks), finish my homework, get art supplies($30-40), work on websites, and get a better mouse (60 bucks) before I even think of paying money to go online to "Find the ONE". and...

I will keep mind boggling as usual. Because that's just the way I am. I won't expect anything because when I start to... they will let me down... I guess I'll just be grateful whomever I meet must have some reason to be with me.

Maybe tomorrow I will take a break and smoke out greens to stop my brain from functioning. GOING OUT 7:30 with my girlfriend A. She's a mind boggler as I am, so!! we can talk for HOURS about intellectual deep conversations to just stupid gossip. She could even function normal lit or not... TRIPLE COOL.

i.. just want to feel happy again... full of light... full of love... somewhat secure... but lots of adventure... no more betrayals( had it too many times, from my ex(s), my own father, friends etc etc)... no more hate... JUST Wanna feel the SUN shine on me...brand new day with no drama. Just the ocean breeze and the sky...

My student wrote me a b-day mail when it turned 25th in Japan... mom sent me a b-day card two days ago... b family gave me a card before they left... I do feel loved...
I do... I do...

The house is silent... I'm gonna take a long bath now.

mind boggle from 8 in the morning

I am just mumbling my thoughts on electric blog. half sleeping but irritated because of my unending conclusion. I have been questioning about a subject that I have no real answer to or maybe I do and do not want to admit to.

If a person was truly interested in you genuinely wouldn't they ask you questions to get to know you better? Different questions concerning about life, likes and dislikes, future goals, places they've traveled and so on. Or ask you when your birthday is..

If that person is truly thinking and wanting to move forward to a better relationship, wouldn't they contact you often and ask how you are, or how was your day, or strike up a conversation of going somewhere together, or asking when will be a free time to meet? and have a great conversation together about silly subject?

And if that person does not ask at all about you.

Is that person worth keeping around?

Should I even believe that the person will come around or better yet... Should I just accept that person does not really care. Their motive is not to know and understand you... it is elsewhere...

Either way,,, I'm bored. Maybe I WILL join C.com or M.com and pass my time dating again. At C.com I have more than 30 people who are interested in moi! LOL my days sure would be busy on datin IF I did join. Maybe and Maybe not. we'll see how bored I get in the weekend

okay...
I think I'm going back to bed..

bored in class... so..

I was a bit bored in class today because it was on a subject I already know.... so... I drew a motorcycle. My motorcycle looked like this one I drew on the computer. So, it took me about two hours. Then my teacher made fun of me because I was not paying attention to her class. Like yah, I already know the sh*t. Teach me something I don't know!!!

Anyways, one more day til' my b-day... my b family is going to mammoth for granddad in law's memorial later today. So, if I think of it optimistically I will have the house to myself.. FREEDOM. Or pessimistically, meaning I will be alone in this big house all weekend + 2 days.

I have mixed feelings, but oh well.

Oh I need to get one of these!

Just looking at engrish.com. Found this funny picture from CHINA. ENJOY!

I cried tonight...

I don't know what came over me. After my photoshop class I got into my car and started to drive... Then all the sudden I seriously felt my little jazz sitting on my lap. It's been 5 months since I had to put him down. But for a little moment in my car.... I really truly felt his presense near me. I was so glad but so sad... then tears started falling down my cheeks.

Please note: never cry while driving near the airport or anywhere. VERY DANGEROUS!

My eyes were so filled with tears, it was hard to see.
I don't know maybe it was a little pre birthday gift from god...To feel him again...

I miss him so much... I still feel lost everyday without my dog . He was my only family when I lived in japan... Ten years. It was always me and Jazz. We went everywhere together. Restaurants, recordings, even went on a drive on my motorcycle together. We traveled from Tokyo to LA, LA to Osaka to TOkyo then to LA to hawaii to south carolina then back to LA. He was like my son. He was the love of my life.

I know I have to let him go but I pray every night to see him in my dreams. it's a habit since feb.3 2010. (feb 2 was his 10th birthday)

I always wish that I could hug and cuddle with him in my dreams. Feel his wet nose poking my cheeks and how he used to rub his face all over me the curl into a ball using my right arm for a pillow. He always sat on my lap when we drove...
Death... you never get over it... you just don't...

I also pray that grandma is taking good care of him in heaven til' I get there one day.

My eyes are gonna be puffy tomorrow...damn...

The ULTIMATE CHICK FLICK

After my devastating loss of my data from portable hard disk that had my precious data... and trying to fix my mom's macbook via phone and watching intensely BORING tutorials on "how to" on excel 2010, and tutorial on flash...
I had to take a break.

SO----- I watched the most cutest chick flick I've seen in awhile. I would say it has topped with the NOTEBOOK by far. IT'S COMPLICATED. I loved it.

If anyone wants it, mail me I've downloaded the movie(s). I also have the get me to greek movie,new travolta movie, book of eli,leap year, vampire's assistant, how to train dragon, shrek 3, spy next door,downloading toy story 3 tomorrow... etc etc... probably not legal.... oh vwell.......

Tomorrow I start on making/sketching an outline for the websites. I will not procrastinate!!!

ok goodnight.

PS: leaving on a good note! In 1 1/2 months span, I LOST 10 POUNDS! woohooo!

ARGHHHHHH!

My external Hard Drive BROKE!!!! This time is doesn't even mount on my mac no more!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Now I have to get another HD... I hate western digital portable HDs!!!! This is like the 3rd time I lost data...

Happy Father's Day Hike

The B family plus I went on a hike for Father's Day. It was a nice warm day beautiful and the water was pretty clear.

Pretty flowers....


beautiful waves....


Even a dead pelican...


crabs everywhere.

It was refreshing but now experiencing some soarness in different parts of the body.
Tonight we feast on summer BBQ and relax listening to the leaves brushing each other while the wind encircles them. ahhhhhh.... tranquility...

What a F*cking IDIOT!?!?!... SERIOUSLY part ?? I don't even keep count anymore...

Oh...kay.... SO I had a tremendously beautiful time last night OH yes... and had a mouth melting breakfast in weho. I was on CLOUD 9. LALA land singing "I'm on the top of world". Grinning through out the day. LIKE YES mmmmmm YES YES, !
( ^ 0 ^ ) like this face.

Then just right when I thought THIS JOY BURSTING WITH LOVE would last....
da* da* da* da---------- DAMN it... NOOOOOOOOOOO,
"YOU'VE GOT MAIL" and GUESS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?????
( ; _ ;)crying face
you all know by now... the ex... again and again...
What a F*cking IDIOT?! as my bro in law would say.
I really wonder LIKE REALLY?! When will dumb dumb get DA POINT! It has been over half a year now as I keep the silence, usually men get the point after a month.
MR. DRAMA QUEEN GO AWAY!!!! FOREVER!!! (good karma m think good karma)
This time he tried to write in two other email accounts a sap story about his sister in law's tumor and all he thought was me.... HUH?????? NO COMPRENDO. Why the hell would I even care about some lady I don't even know? What the hell??? I don't get it...DERANGED... OH VWELLLLLLLL.

I.... really don't need this right now... So! I just let it go/ignored and went to see...
Toy Story 3!!! in 3D!!!! I LOVED IT. Like I love most animations done by PIXAR, it was SO cute and funny. AND since we were in PV No one was there!!!!!! COOL!!!! ( Can you notice I am trying to hype myself up right now?) I want to watch again!!!

Tomorrow if the weather permits maybe I'll go to the beach and feel the good karma from the ocean and the wind. Need to go to my hideaway!!! Feel the ocean breeze!! Crashing Waves!!! yah...

Now if you'll excuse me... I must be going. I must reminisce of the wonderful time I had on friday while I close my eyes..... mmmm.....zzzz goodnight

Computer graphic homework 2 drawing an apple

My homework was to draw an apple with the pen tool. I did but I don't know how I did it and the outline is gone... I don't know why but I like it. It looks like it could be used in children books.

photoshop homework 2 done.

So the original picture is on the bottom. What do you think? OK?



Thank GOD my GF A mailed me about my Bday! We're gonna go out to a "raw restaurant" HOW EXCITING!!! YEAH!!! So happy!!! Ok back to web design..

7 more days...

Above is my homework on fake logo part 2. I hate animal print but HEY it's kiss fm.

In seven days, I will be 37. It's such an unsignificant number to celebrate. I have no idea what to do. I better email A to remind her. I hope my cold will be all gone by then.

It's on a friday.. so I could go on a date.. I don't know.. My mind is not there yet. It's stuck on "Flash for dummies" and Tutorials from Lynda.com.

The numbers are rising on C.com and M.com though... I could pick one of them to date if I choose to.. nahhh... too much energy to be used.

I wish my dog was still alive... so I could squeeze him and go hiking at my favorite hideaway and just choose to snuggle with him like I always did on my birthdays in the past...

all I could squeeze are his ashes... sigh...

I hope I'm not alone on the day... but just in case I better buy me some good booze to numb my senses.

funny things in life..and homework1 for CG class

Curiosity have got the best of me...again...

On monday night, I decided to see how many hits I would get if I put my picture up again on an online dating system such as company M.com or C.com. I have not subscribed on any websites yet, but it has been a very interesting result, I must say. None really interesting enough for me to try but here were the results.
Result as of weds. morning 14th:

on M.com: more than 23 winks and 13 emails and 5 people put me in favorites.

on C.com: 16 men are interested in me(which I can't see the profile because C.com want you to subscribe) 1 email and 2 noticed.

I had a really bad experience with POF.com and I met my ex-stalker on H.com before so I have not been participating in the search for "partner in crime" online.

I like where I am right now. Working on projects for VIS animation and going to O art school for computer graphics. It's been a great/fun/awesome experience. Now if I find some kind of work IT will be GREAT. and maybe see the sexy man i've been eyeglued on...mmmm...

Didn't make the final round on the job interview. All the companies are concerned that I have only creative/music business career experience ... I better get a waitress job soon... if that's the case. OH well... Tomorrow is a brand new day. Search, google, find.

Never give up and just do. I better start making my portfolio for web design soon...

photoshop homework week1

After 1 full box of tissue, Musicnex DM, Suphedrine, and cough syrup with codeine I am finally ALIVE!!!
Still sleep deprived though... Doing homework for three classes. One of the homework was to cut out the butterfly,lotus flower, and water images from another picture and put them all together. I added the lotus leaves as well. I sat for hours. I def was in "THE ZONE"... original images as follows

web design homework 1...

I can't breathe... I feel warm... My lungs hurt... My body ache... I can't taste... my heart lonely... but I did my homework for tomorrow... I hope I can walk after I sleep...

sad love poem

Though i want to reach for you now...
I can't ... I mustn't... for I will be too needy & vulnerable...
wanting you for the wrong reasons...
Though I want to believe in you desperately...
my patience grows weak...each day of silence linger endlessly...
I do not know what to do.
I do not understand you.
How can I? I do not know you.
No chance to really know you...
I feel the tears rising... I feel sorrow lurking...but I still wait...
I wait to see a hint of you, though the screen grows dim
The link of fate I felt before it's fading....
empty.. no more...

All I can do is set you free ...
I have no choice, what else can I do for thee? please tell me...

In lucid dreams I call out for thee... In reality I know I must set you free.
because I sensed it though i try to deny it..

you... don't want me....

stronger drug

it says only bedtime... but I think I'll take it now.

I hate to admit... but

I hate to admit.... but I am going to see a doctor tomorrow. I am not well.

need more pills

I need to take more Rx. My body aches all over, my lungs hurt from congestion. I am still exhausted from coughing most of the night. My head feels like the picture I made. I need to recover for the class tonight. going back to bed. sigh....zzzz...

My sleeping pills tonight

I didn't realize this but it seems I have been ill for the last few days. So, tonight I will drug myself with some dextromethorphan and guaifenesin. yes, mucinex dm to make me sleep.

On another note: Everybody's going to hawaii in august...ticket is really cheap right now. hawaiian air roundtrip for only 330 bucks... I want to go... but I probably can't... sigh...

On another note2: My art classes consist of mostly girls.... which may well be ...so no distraction will arise. My photoshop class tonight was entertaining. 7-10:30PM I thought I was going to just plain out die but it went like a breeze. Absolutely no time to be sleepy. Total concentration. We were all glued to our screens using the "Pen tool" which is basic but useful. Tomorrow will be interesting too. Intro to computer graphics. I think I am starting to be more nerdy than ever. BUT i don't feel bad cuz' there's alot of people like me in class. yes indeed!!!

On another note3: SO, I have decided IF I get a job before my birthday which is on the 25th. I am thinking of buying a present for myself this year.
It's either:
1. the new iphone 4g (but, I still like my jailbrake iphone that acts as a go phone, so I don't know yet. I don't really use the phone either....)
2. a bicycle retro type no high tech mountain bike just a stroll on the beach type of bicycle.
3. 2TB HD for my computer..
4. a trip to either hawaii, new york, napa valley, or vegas.
or..
5. bass guitar w/ a small amp.

All but a dream... i suppose. It's quite alright though. It will motivate me to try harder in acquiring employment.

Last note: My psychic said awhile ago that in mid june and on I will encounter or start to have.... what she called a "NEW MUSHY MUSHY love relationship". I don't know how much I will believe in her predictions, BUT I SURE HOPE SO!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
It would be most pleasant to be " MUSHY MUSHY " with someone again. LOL. "MUSHY MUSHY" exact words from her. She said to keep my doors or eyes open. Go meet different people, which I should start doing. I don't know how I will do that with this hectic schedule. BUT YAHH MUSHY MUSHY LOVE is ALL WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Goodnight friends the drugs are kickin' in. zzzz... cough cough.. zzzz chao.

Addiction

I have a bad habit. A really bad addiction. If anyone ever put a bag of swedish fish in front of me. I will definitely eat the whole bag. I'm addicted to it. I don't like the multi colors just red. red red red. I would say just one more.... 10min later I am still saying just one more.
I just finished my last fish...

bad......m....... bad......

Edible garden in our yard.

So, the plum tree showed first signs of red plums. In few weeks I am going to hate plums. Cuz' it looks like there are at least 50 plums on our tree.

The tomato is growing too. Jalapeno peppers have finished with the flowers

I think these are radishes.

So we have a 2ft. cilantro and green onions in the back. My bro D put some kind of miracle grow that is making all the plants grow crazy.

I am SO mind boggling!!! What will my theme for a website be for class?Robots I think. What am I going to do with website for Pt's co.? I need to figure out some codes. Tomorrow is class for Photoshop, i wonder if I could stay awake for 3 1/2 hours at night? Weds. day is Computer graphics class too, I hope there is not too much homework. What is going on with my results? Do I have fever? Should I up my workout or take it easy tomorrow? I need to order my books for class... AARGHHHHHH. STOP! STOP THINKING!!

So, I turned on hawaiian radio online. I am trying to relax, now. really... maybe this week I'll go just meditate at the Los angeles county art museum or just wander the gallery at Otis. My stress is self inflicted.... I am well aware of it...I am the only one who can stop it. So I will try to relax and not get too judge mental or negative or unmotivated or stay procrastinated. I must break free from this cycle. I must rebirth. I must just let go and feel the ocean air take bad karma away. hum a tune or two. that is what I will do..... breathe ...

HOoray!!

My friend also quit from the manga co I used to work at and walked out on!!!!! She got fed up as well!!!!! I wasn't the only one!!!! No more porno comics for her too!!! She just made my day!!! hahahahahahaha!!!

Sunday

Yup I needed that. I am grateful my bro in law used to be a bartender in early age. Perfect margarita on a sunday. Perfect bbq just family. Full of laughter and love. Love is all we need. False love is not needed here.


Sleep deprived. Mind boggle. Indecision. Fear of betrayal. Mood swings. shivers. bad premonitions, terrible tarot readings. denial. sadness. anger. happiness. hurt. everything inside everything out.... makes me. me.

Tonight I just feel like I am in a limbo. should I stay or should I go. All the cards lean toward go. A new transition. end of one phase. let go and you will be able to step up ahead. Stop infatuation. Just go and say farewell. The cards are probably dead on. I should start a new chapter of my life now. Strength within...


I need to concentrate on me now.
Goodbye old habits... hello the new me.

Good bye to false love.... time to just love thee.

No more waiting No more believing. No more compromise. No more lowering standards.
It's time to concentrate on me. The real me. And this bitch got no time for silly games. I will succeed. I will rise with passion. Let no one drag me behind.

Love is all we need. I'm sending you all my love now. Hope you will love thyself and rise again too.

How to make cheap tuna taste like fatty tuna

Ingredients you will need:

Wasabi
Soy sauce
avocado
cheap tuna

1. cut avocado and tuna into cubes.


2. mix soy sauce and wasabi and pour into bowl and mix tuna and avocado together.


VOILA it's good.

japlish or engrish ... it don't make sense

So, I went to the japanese 99 cent store and got myself a toothbrush and a trash can. The design was really cute but the english on the can just made me ..... laugh..

it says: You have to get ready all the times to get her love ..... um.... yeah....

It's in engrish!!!!

For more engrish go to: http://www.engrish.com/

Day 1 to toward my goals

I went to my art classes today. The first class was about 2 dimensions and drawing contrast and so on. The teacher was really cool, but she mentioned that if I was taking more than 3 classes I should drop a class because there will be no time to achieve 100% in the classes. I signed up for 4 classes. Fundamentals of 2Dimension, Web Design, Photoshop class, Computer Graphics class.... With all the suggestion from the 2D teacher... I went to registration and .... dropped her class out of the 4 classes. The only reason I did this is because the counselor that I spoke with said it maybe better to take the 2D class with another teacher than her, next semester if I'll be working full time. So, no more 2D at 10AM. and on I went to web design class. I already know web design but I wanted to refresh my memory on it. I think it is going to be very interesting. The teacher seems cool and the class is filled up completely.And it is a great place to network and be friends with others of the same interest.

After class, I went to the beach to workout. I saw lots of people at the beach and it seems that tonight is prom for lots of high schoolers. It was really cute watching them. I vaguely remember prom... hated it I think...blind date... w/ an ugly J-guy...LOL

I had my first meal of the day at 9PM, because I missed lunch being in the registration office. So 1 meal with 2hours of workout is not wise. Naturally I begin to have a headache from malnutrition/dehydration..LOL.
NOTE: please don't try this at home. malnutrition is not intended by all means.

After resting on my bed, I felt that I was finally stepping forward toward my goals and it felt great excluding my headache. It was a very productive day I suppose. I am looking forward to my tues and wednes night classes as well,now. Life has just begun ultra busy. No time to fool around. With school and Pt class of animation plus designing logos and website with pt & eric.. yeah... I have much too much on my plate..

Fooling around...hmmmm that brings me to another subject... I am puzzled... In the "olden days" all we had was a phone. We called each other to do things or just talk to get to know each other... I miss that. I miss listening to the other voice/ the tone of the voice and while the conversation, trying to understand their emotions at the time. I really love skype cuz' now you can see the person while talking to them.

SO OK

Why do I say this? well.... I am realizing that I don't understand "texting" well. It's probably the same as emails. In texting or emails it's an one way conversation a lot of times. You write what you want to say without interruptions. Then you can choose not to answer if you don't want to. Emotions are vaguely written, so you don't really know what the other party is really thinking.
This is a good example: A text was written about meeting up.... some texting back and forth occured... in result... the two decided not to meet on that day... one wrote "we'll try tomorrow" on a text. Next day came... and no text was received...

Is this a phrase or a metaphor? Like "tomorrow" doesn't really MEAN tomorrow? Maybe it means SOME DAY?

I don't understand... All I know is I waited for a message that never came. I feel like a fool right now at 3am writing a blog about it.
I waited though I was tired and sleepy for ... what? I wonder. and my efforts over and over again... un-noticed???...Then the music fills my head RESPECT. R-E-s-p-e-c-t... Maybe I am old fashioned...
But i do feel a bit disrespected now.

Accept and forgive... wow that is a hard task to follow.

Well, at least my day was good overall and the aspirin is finally sinking in. maybe I'll read what not to crochet blog to have few laughs before I doze off again..

M signing off 4:50am.

Doodle Daddle... Sex in the city 2..... no....

I had a 10 o'clock phone interview today. The lady did not call til' 10:30 and I was like OMG I am like DUDE... diss me before my interview? That's cold... BUT she called. The lady sounded like a real B but, I played along. Right when I finished the phone, my friend Pt chatted me. And I was totally bummed that I didn't do well on the interview. So, he suggested I go to his house to work on the website and logo. Well, it was either working on it at home or going to Pt's house w/o screaming kids.... I went Pt's house. We worked all day on concept of the logo. He showed me a book full of logos and different old movie clips like Robo the robot. I started doodling on the idea of the logo, then I got an email from the recruiter. I passed the first interview... now the translating test. Part2 of the job interview. It was hard... I didn't know what the english contents were about at first. Well, I finished it and sent it back to the recruiter. We'll see what will happen on that. Another recruiter called for another job too in cypress.... where the hell is cypress... gotta google it. What's TOTALLY COOL about Pt's place is that we can do all our nerdy graphic projects and then go workout like hiking, biking, in house gym or swim. Today after frying our brains on more ideas and concepts we went to swim and tread water at the pool, but still talk about what we wanted to achieve in this company. How if it does succeed we would be making alot of money and I can buy a condo or something near the beach. But it's still awhile to go. The conversations were interesting and It was great killing time at the pool to not fight traffic. Lgn Bch ... very nice area..

By 8:30PM I was back home getting ready for girl's night out. 4 girls T,J,S,M. what's that yup 4's just like Sex in the City 2. OK so I am not a fan. BUT, I love Charlot's fashion. I've always loved her style... Movie.. not good. not worth it... go wait til' red box or netflix. But, just the feeling of just girls going out was cool. and... new york scenes.... I want to go to new york... maybe next vacation new york... or hawaii... tough choice... maybe napa valley instead... oh yeah need to get a job first.
Well... after a chick flick like that you tend to want to see someone you care about... oh well... I am so tired.. I'll just dream of him now.... LOL goodnight

Forgive and forget

My cards tells me I must be more forgiving.... maybe the cards are right. My expectations are too high. I accepted the thoughts. I must just let it go. Give time to heal. Don't make hasty decisions. let time tell. Don't make unnecessary efforts to self inflict stress. Just go with the flow.

Just concentrate on the good.

Love is all we need.

Love thyself then love will attract.

let the past stay behind and stay focused, look forward to the future.

no more looking back now. release

contemplate, analyse, compromise

I had my first conference call with the VIS team today on how we should make the website. VIS is the company my friend has started for animation. Pt's been helping me out teaching me the basics and get into the team! I really want to make a flash website but I feel my knowledge of it is still shallow and we have no time. So, hopefully I will make a simple html site for now and gradually move on to flash. It was really fun to talk with the team about fonts and styles and great to have feedbacks. I contemplated about how I would do the website, we all analysed the page and compromised on fonts filters. OH I have so many ideas and things I want to do. OH I have to think about the logo too!!!! Oh what to do what to do. Need to organize time betta. Or I will have no time for social life. not that I have or need one right now.
As I go further into the world of graphics I tend to sit at my computer longer and longer.. later I will need a really expensive chair ergonomics maybe a herman miller chair so I don't die with bad posture!

I also have a phone interview tomorrow for a job that will require me to be glued to the screen. Think before you speak, M! I hope I don't slip my mouth and say bad things about my last job. Don't say anything about the GAY PORN COMICS!!! NO M. BAD! Be passionate and stay cool. JUST DON't Efit UP. right?
I need this job so I could find my own place of sanctuary. Pray for me, my friends. I WILL HAVE THE "GO"!

OH YEAH!
My wii boxing game came through the mail today and played it for about half an hour or more. It was pretty cool. Good workout for my arms. Jab, hook, upper, and straight.
Lately I have been pretty consistent on exercising.
My workout consist of 20 min. video on abs from turbo jam. 30-60 mins on wii sports games such as wii boxing, wii fit and either 1-2 hours of walking/jogging or hiking on the beach everyday. I am trying to get as much exercise possible before I return to the work force. I hope I will look good for that new tommy bahama bikini I bought in hawaii.... I love beach. I want to go to hawaii....

GLOOMY SUBJECT:
Just the other day, my sista S mentioned something that made my spine shiver. We were talking about how the family is going up north to mammoth on the week of my b-day, so I will be left with the dog and cat alone for petsitting. Then S said out of no where, " Be sure NOT to ANSWER the phone and NOT to OPEN the door on your B-DAY." She was referring about a possible chance of my ex calling or coming to stalk me. I really doubt that he would try to come all the way to LA from where ever he is, but it did make me shiver when she mentioned it. I hope he'll never get near me again...

Now I just have to think GOOD KARMA!!! breath in GOOD KARMA!!! breath out BAD KARMA!!!
No time to be afraid. I will be strong. Must concentrate on getting the job, computer graphics and school and JUST LIVING LIFE HAPPY! I hope you're doing the same.

I thought I was going to fall.

Auntie duties sometime require lots of stamina. Hiked a very steep rock side today. Holding the rock wall to hold myself while pushing my nephew's butt to hike up the steep and unstable hill. No bars to hold, 100% nature.
Though I am scared of heights, my niece was already moving toward the top so I had to follow. I never looked down.
As long as they enjoyed it I was ok.

Drinkin is sometimes the best remedy

June 1st. Countdown begins toward my B-day. 24 days to go. June always makes me moody. No one remembers my b-day because it is just after father's day. I am pretty much alone on my b-day. I hope that my friend A still remembers we're going out on that day.
It's a friday this year. I think I'll go green at A's house or something.

My brain is basically fried from all the animation techniques that I have been learning. I do understand the concept of Flash and After Effect but to put it into action as a website... I contemplate on how I want to go about it.
Should I make the website XHTML? or interactive flash? What are the codes for action script to succeed in that... How about the placement of Aftereffect animation to show the potential clients???? ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Saturday is my first class on web design again. Maybe I will get a great idea from the class... Though I think it'll be quite boring since I have taken web design before.

But as Pt mentioned, there maybe few interesting people in class that might catch my eyes. Tis' true PT. Good call.

8 more days til the world cup. I wish I was in Japan to watch people are so united when world cup starts. Japan.... good food... good booze...

Yes, when you're just bored/frustrated/angry/sad or just feeling like S***. Get yourself a cold drink w/ some % of alcohol. It won't solve the prob but it sure will mudd your thoughts for at least till you fall asleep.

Maybe I'll do more of that on june 25th. HA