My first guest for sleep over in my new apartment...

My niece Hana called on my cel to ask if she could come over for sleep over at "auntie m's" house. Hana (6 years old) and I went to baskin robbins tonight to eat her favorite dessert "mint chocolate chip" ice cream and then went to Macy's home to test out the different beds together to see which is good. The sales guy said simmons is the best they have. I kinda liked serta too but oh well.
Then we came back to watch bootleg of "Nanny McPhee 2" at home and now Hana is sound asleep next to me. My first sleep over guest Miss lil lady Hana. An angel next to me while I sleep, what a wonderful world.

I have a bug in my tummy

I ache in my tummy. Doc says to take pepto and gatorade. Why is it that I take care of people but when I am in pain no one is here to help me... sigh...

Tonight was...

interesting...

I went to the B clan house to do laundry. My bro in law and I watched the pre-game and ate thai food. We had a good time. I stuffed my face so much to the point I am too full to go to sleep. I feel the food is up to my throat.

My friend is going through a really ugly break up. Oh... it just does not look good... I try not to get in too deep. I really can't help her... I can only listen...

Whenever I have friends in pain, I start to analysis my life and surroundings and how I feel lately.

I am pretty good. I am living by the beach where I can literally hear crashing waves from my window. I actually like my job and the people there which is VERY rare. I am close to my family. My neighbors are great. I try not to regret anything that happened in the past and try to move on. No more stalking emails... tranquility surrounds me.
I went to see soccer and my friend is giving me her bicycle soon. and I finally have new sunglasses...

If I can think of one thing, I regret that I didn't give a particular person a chance to reclaim his side of the story. I regret that I lost my temper over a stupid conversation.
For some reason, this man keeps popping in my head lately... like it's undone. There is still something unfinished with him. It feels so weird. I can't get him out...of my mind... maybe it is just a delusion my heart plays on me.
maybe I just miss the grin and cuddling... who knows...

I come home to watch the sunset

Everyday after work, I feel my stress uplifted by the beauty of the sunset. I walked/jogged on the beach afterwards watching the sun slowly come down into the blue ocean. Everyone's in hawaii right now... but it's ok... I have the beach too...

and....

There was a beautiful asian well fit body flaunting his upper torso jogging in front of me, too....

i.....

I LOVE THE BEACH!

OH YEAH...

I love watching sweaty men run around in front of me LOL

Well, you guessed it. I went to the chivas soccer game. It was... so so. My GF N and I had lots of fun watching them warm up in front of us. Pretty good seats. While I meant by watching warm ups were .... N and I loved watching them stretch and really showing off their booties in front of us.
OMG, I love soccer.
It's good they don't have any padding like football.LOL
My GF N like # 23... she said he's yummy!!!

I say.... ehh....
David Villa looks betta.

5th day... loving it!

So, I have been in my new apartment for 5 days and just loving the peace and quiet with the waves of the ocean. My friend came to have a drink at my house and she loved it as well! We brought cups with wine at the beach and watched the sunset. It was so nice and tranquil.

My neighbors are pretty cool. My landlord is awesome and friendly.He gave me and my friend a beer again. I definitely have to get him some J-food or something.
I could hear my neighbor's music sometimes but it's OK. I just hope I don't hear anything else ha ha.

Thinking to go back online again... but I don't know...have not found myself having a good experience expect one man who is unfortunately gone to Japan for a rock concert. I am also trying to find a different way to meet new people, which is hard...I wish I can meet people who are intellectual and have goals in life like I do. Not flimsy and indecisive. No baggage and doesn't talk so much about the last GF and the past. I hope I meet someone who is living the now and the future.
That would be nice for once.
It's so boring to go on a date and the date is talking about the EX, too redundant. I have understood that if any guys says they are a romantic ... they aren't...
and I don't have time to be mothering emotionally unstable souls. I need to be loved and receive 100% attention. I deserve it, cuz I am a damn good woman with the full package, LOL!

So, I love where I am at here in my new address. I could walk on the beach everyday. watch the sun set in pink and orange. Walk to cute shops and restaurants and even walk to the pier if I wanted. I Just feel relaxed when I get home. Saturday, it's the Chivas vs Seattle soccer game which I have been looking forward to see live!
Maybe my bro can help me get a new mattress because the one I bought at ikea is making my lower back hurt. I hope i can return it.

Overall, it's all good. no nightmares. no stalkers.

So I am here..

I finally have moved into my new apartment. I hear the ocean waves from my window. Yes, I actually hear and see the ocean from my window.

My landlord thought I was 26. I am glad my Asian genes have been well kept. My new neighbor Mr. R, landlord MR. L, sis, niece, and nephew all went to the beach together today. It was a beautiful day and we just walk two min. walk two min to go back. I swam with the kids. My landlord gave me a beer, he happens to be an acquaintance of my bro in law from beach volleyball, so it's all good.

So, I did find the perfect apartment. My high school friend K also gave me 4 tickets to the soccer game next Saturday. Chivas vs Seattle I think. That's just awesome. My GF N is coming with me. The other two prob.. my co worker...

Wow, I guess I did get what I set out to from half a year ago. Now I just have to find some good looking male candidates to spend quality time with. LOL.

School is finally over so I will be working out at the beach again. Just peachy..

Life is good.... life is good...

August 6

I woke up that 5:30am today. I had a nightmare. Sometimes I feel so insecure. I feel so unaccomplished. I ask frequently.."what happened?" "what did you do to your life?" "why did you leave it behind?" "what is it that you want in life?"

Sometimes I can't believe at myself leaving my life of music behind and pursuing a life that might not bloom or flourish... I mean look at me right now... with an admin job to pay the bills, going to school night time but not really learning anything from it as I like. Not getting a creative job and making twice or three time less than when I was in Japan...

The fact of being able to live alone by the beach and being close to family is probably the only good thing going.

I am disappointed in where I am in life. Even the men I date are... how can I put it, not intellectually compatible. None of them motivate me enough to stay interested.
The fact of telling myself "This time I am starting from scratch ground zero so things can't get any worse" is almost like a broken record.

I really hope that I will be able to step forward by this move. Leave the past behind and really move on with my life.

I should put a limit on my career path.. like if I don't succeed as a creative graphic designer by two-three years... I should go back to Japan and return to music business.
or like if I don't find a person to share my life with in 2-3 years... f*** the dream of making family...just have boy toys to play with.

Why so pessimistic? I guess it's frustration of not making money like I used to... Still bitter about disrespect. Wearing a suit to work... Having a 9-5 job... wearing a plastic mask everyday so I don't show face.. not being who I am...

oh well... from next week I will just have to contemplate about life watching the ocean from my window. or just walk to the beach I guess... I already bought me some red wine to compliment the mood. I guess I did get what I want. Being closer to my sis.. and a pad at the beach...Being able to live as a regular girl with hope... now I just have to work on like condiments such as boyfriends... yes with a "s".

and lastly not be so bored with life...

finals this week.

I am just busy busy busy. Finishing up final exams for school, cleaning my apartment before I move in. Working at the job staffing co. while trying to do the website. Now I am teaching an intern from Japan for 4wks... yeah.... I can't wait til' I am totally situated in my new home. I also might go out on Thurs with my gf A for some green drinks.
plus that dating here and there when time permits me to do so.

I am overall happy though. I can't complain. I get to hear sounds of the oceans waves from my window. Actually you can see the ocean from my window. So... yeah... life is good.

Last week I went on a dinner date. It was a pleasant date full of laughs. Though I have no interest in getting serious and the other party might be thinking otherwise. He came in a suit... looked good... but too bad I am not physically that attracted to him. He did tickle my heart with his thoughtful words. Maybe it's a combination of both physical and emotional that will grow in time. I don't know...

The greatest part was that we had a great conversation and he wasn't looking at me like bait.

He knows how to treat a j woman, not like others. Libra year of the sheep 40 years old... astrologically the worst combination for my sign. oh well....