melancholy.... mind boggle

My little jazz is an angel now. I almost cried making him like this. But he was my angel..

I had a hard time sleeping last night as I will again tonight probably because I was mind boggling again about ...

LOVE.

In the confusion of thoughts I know one thing.... I am yearning for love. and..
If that be a relationship then so be it.

Love is essential in our lives.
Love takes in so many forms.
Love is also a process. It starts with attraction, connection, then to intimacy toward commitment.

Plato once said: We always search for the other half to become whole.
Socrates said: We seek and desire that which we do not have.

I believe that we DO need someone to love,trust,share and have feedback to make us complete as a whole.
I want to be with someone who makes me feel like the most important person in the world, that I am beautiful & special to him/her and vice versa.
I want to feel as though I am the only one in the lover's heart.

special...

When A asked me about relationship and I answered unsure... it's because I felt I need to develop a real connection before a committed relationship. If I can not attain the feeling of complete whole with a potential lover.. is being in a relationship wise?
Wouldn't you just be hurting the other by kind of sort of not feeling 100% about him/her?

Being in a relationship because of loneliness doesn't cut it either. That is just disrespect for the other.

I hate people who play with people's feelings. Who manipulate and try to brainwash you to get something from you. I gave too much in my last relationships and gain painful heartbreaks... so I think wise choices are necessary.

Love is also respect for each other. and I feel too old to play games after games.

I mean inside all of this, SEX plays a definite major role. If you are not physically attracted toward your potential partner THEN you can kiss the relationship goodbye because it's just not going to work. Even the love therapists says so. If the sex ain't good .... yah.... you already see the ending.

I have been reading a book on love...
The author states that to have a successful relationship we should try to find our psychological opposite that will complement each other. Two personalities opposite from each other makes infinite possibilities.Maybe so..

I know that whatever Hwood feeds us with unrealistic views on love are BS.

What will come of me? Who knows...

All I know is I want to feel special... If I can't then he/she is not for me.

I say he/she because I don't know what the future will bring for me. doubt it but who knows.