clean room

Well, as a japanese we always clean the whole house before the new year. So, today I cleaned my whole room before my final countdown of my birthday. Fresh day tomorrow.

Then I picked up little m from day care. Made her some noodles and watched disney princesses and ate ice cream. Then MP came to pick her up. He said he couldn't do it anymore. He's sending lil m up n. I'm so sensitive to these things, it disturbs me... I felt so sad for mp. I know he tried the best he could to make it work. single dad trying to do everything. I respect my friend so much, I cry for him. At least he found a really nice GF that is giving. I pray lil m will always remember the b family and auntie m. I guess I must cherish the time I will have til' she goes...

On a good note: yeah japan.. 3-1!!!

And as for my mind boggle, I need to get a 1-2 TB hard disk (200-300bucks), finish my homework, get art supplies($30-40), work on websites, and get a better mouse (60 bucks) before I even think of paying money to go online to "Find the ONE". and...

I will keep mind boggling as usual. Because that's just the way I am. I won't expect anything because when I start to... they will let me down... I guess I'll just be grateful whomever I meet must have some reason to be with me.

Maybe tomorrow I will take a break and smoke out greens to stop my brain from functioning. GOING OUT 7:30 with my girlfriend A. She's a mind boggler as I am, so!! we can talk for HOURS about intellectual deep conversations to just stupid gossip. She could even function normal lit or not... TRIPLE COOL.

i.. just want to feel happy again... full of light... full of love... somewhat secure... but lots of adventure... no more betrayals( had it too many times, from my ex(s), my own father, friends etc etc)... no more hate... JUST Wanna feel the SUN shine on me...brand new day with no drama. Just the ocean breeze and the sky...

My student wrote me a b-day mail when it turned 25th in Japan... mom sent me a b-day card two days ago... b family gave me a card before they left... I do feel loved...
I do... I do...

The house is silent... I'm gonna take a long bath now.