I cried tonight...

I don't know what came over me. After my photoshop class I got into my car and started to drive... Then all the sudden I seriously felt my little jazz sitting on my lap. It's been 5 months since I had to put him down. But for a little moment in my car.... I really truly felt his presense near me. I was so glad but so sad... then tears started falling down my cheeks.

Please note: never cry while driving near the airport or anywhere. VERY DANGEROUS!

My eyes were so filled with tears, it was hard to see.
I don't know maybe it was a little pre birthday gift from god...To feel him again...

I miss him so much... I still feel lost everyday without my dog . He was my only family when I lived in japan... Ten years. It was always me and Jazz. We went everywhere together. Restaurants, recordings, even went on a drive on my motorcycle together. We traveled from Tokyo to LA, LA to Osaka to TOkyo then to LA to hawaii to south carolina then back to LA. He was like my son. He was the love of my life.

I know I have to let him go but I pray every night to see him in my dreams. it's a habit since feb.3 2010. (feb 2 was his 10th birthday)

I always wish that I could hug and cuddle with him in my dreams. Feel his wet nose poking my cheeks and how he used to rub his face all over me the curl into a ball using my right arm for a pillow. He always sat on my lap when we drove...
Death... you never get over it... you just don't...

I also pray that grandma is taking good care of him in heaven til' I get there one day.

My eyes are gonna be puffy tomorrow...damn...