facebook power/ MIND BOGGLE stress meltdown

If you have facebook please check out john r. lamkin
Chris Loftlin sings a rendition of a "Color Me Bad" song [HQ] video

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=396950723591&comments=

This was when I was in Berklee college of music in 92??. Arch bishop of funk.In the cafeteria of the school. I am the yellow girl with the X hat. OK I can't believe how fat I was then but oh well.
The only asian beside Taku in the band(everyone else was black). OMG Taku, John, Chris and lots more are so famous now. It is amazing we all used to play together in college. Reggie's band, good old days.
Facebook is so powerful to bring all of us back together like that on a video. amazing...

So, I have been in a mind boggle, TOTALLY! I have been bothered by stories from the grapevine since sunday... ok for awhile... Lately... it seems all these matters of LOVE ( which is love,hate,divorce, affairs,anger, betrayal, sex,scandal blah blah blah) are all affecting my surrounding friends... As I listen to others stories.... it just .....
hurts.... I feel for them.... but,I can't take it... I keep saying... I'm so sorry (name) ...and I can't say anymore... what CAN I say... but I'm feelin your emotions and it hurts and hurts... My intuitions, my sensitivities feel you... it's too much right now......

I finally got out of saddness, betrayal, manipulated, misled love.. I'm still dealing with stalking a-hole trying to find me.
RIGHT NOW I really want to feel happy again... it's just too much for me. plus I'm stressed as is trying to Find TRUE LOVE and a freaking job... my hives from stress is still healing... The scars hurt everytime my stress level goes higher...

i am pathetic aren't I?... I want to think of my selfish self when time of need for others... I suck.. but it has been a question I ask god often... When is it my turn to shine??

Lately I can't even see my friend Mp cuz' all I have in my head is I am so sorry mp...
I want to say more but I can't... you will be crushed if I tell the truth...

TOO MUCH INFO from the grapevine... and TOO MUCH TIME TO THINK!!!

Then it affected my view on my love situation... In a mind boggle state of mind. I almost told a man I am interested in...."goodbye" because I didn't want to deal any more hurt, pain or betrayal. I thought at that moment to just call it quits. Start new. New phone, new job, new school, new everything. A clean slate...

So childish...trying to run away from something that hasn't happened yet.
I wasn't planning to make drama, but stupid me I think made drama... a helpless romantic I must be to do something as idiotic as this.
Monday is not a good day for me...def... i hate texting...

In the meantime... lately, I have been going to the beach alot more to clear my mind and soul.
Almost everyday now. Workout in the morning,sweat out bad karma, walk on the beach, clear the mind, hear nature, feel nature, appreciate life, love thy self.
Then pray for my family and friends to find happiness. Send all the love I have for them.

I hope tomorrow is a better day...