on more thing...

I woke up today 6:30am....with cold sweat... disturbed. I had a dream.... a nightmare... of the ex finding out where I am... barging into my room... and no one to help me... no one to save me...

I tried to look to see if there is a dream interpretation on what the message means... I can't find anything... I am scared shitless... I feel... drained..
Maybe the dream came because last night we were all talking of divorces, separations, break-ups and so on with our friend who is going through it as we speak. ( What a conversation to talk about on my sister's b-day,,,I didn't start it!!)

I almost drop a tear... I don't want to hear. I didn't want to hear it anymore.

I want happiness for my friends. I want happiness for anyone who are going through tough times right now. but.. There are lots of divorces lately it seems. Some are sad... angry..hurt.
I'm just glad I got away... I guess. I really don't want to be in that situation again.

I tell myself it's the past now. Enjoy day by day... I won't look back just forward...

I just want a warm body to be encircled/entangled in so I won't feel so scared... that's all.. is that too much to ask?