tranquility is what I need but the turmiol has just begun...

I wasn't going to write today.... I was thinking of quitting this blog.Leave for.. I don't know.. Bali?? .. Go in hiding...but f*** that. This is the only place I can say what I want to say and leave it in this blog so I don't hurt the people around me. right??

My friend JB wrote:M.. MAKE A REPORT TO THE POLICE IF POSSIBLE TO WARN THEM ABOUT THIS SITUATION OK. I'M HOME FROM TRAVELING AND PERFORMING SO CALL ME, DON'T LET HIM SCARE YOU OK.
PRAY TO GOD FOR PROTECTION OK. I MISS YOU TOO

I felt SO bad that I made my best friend be so worried for me... I suck.. Cuz' I don't have any evidence to go to the police with... they are not going to help me. I had this happen to me in Japan when I fired my manager he turned stalker on me. He was stealing more than 20% of his part and I caught him. Then he turned into this malicious stalker trying to ruin my music career. He stole in the 5 digits ... my partner had her house broken in by the guy. It was nasty..I ended up moving 2-3 times and leaving the country. I lost a lot of clients... The police never helped us.. Now I have the ex... stalking me... f***...

On a good note, today I bought a pair of levi jeans at macy's for $6.60???? ha... ha???

Alcohol.... it's not helping. My mind is so acute and sensitive.My 3rd eye damn let me just say it does not have an asian slanted eye.. IT'S WIDE OPEN??!!! ALCOHOL is just like 7-up...no justice.. I guess when you are nervous nothing works. Maybe weed?

If the past is going to pull me back right now I am going to go way back 10 years from now.

I dug up some recordings I did 10+ years ago. I had a record deal with a record company but I basically said NO after they ruined my songs... The arranger sucked. The drummer wasn't groovin',guitar ummmm yeah.. it wasn't tight. I wanted to sound rock. I had this image for all my songs even the image of music videos and everything ended up country/ world music. Just S***. So, since I am going to be a hermit for awhile... I will just post my old songs and just be as egotistic as I can be so I could hype myself up! Not feel so in vain. NOT kidding. IT IS MY F*cking BLOG.I'll do as I please.

so here it is. The first song is "Set me Free" wrote it in 1999? or earlier? I was too rock for Japan...
I hate what they did to my song, one day I hope to re-record my songs so it doesn't sound like sh**... At Chaka Kahn's favorite studio with all old studio musicians. NOTE: Don't let studio musicians play your songs when you want it sound fresh and edgy...


Set me free

(chorus)
Set me free… break away the walls and let me be…
Set me free… break away…

Trapped in a puzzle…can’t figure out
Which way to go I feel there’s no way out
Anxiety expanding through my veins
I feel my heartbeat rising…rising…

A darkened room with no hint of light
I search on my knees to find the doorway out
The floor is wet with pieces of jagged glass cutting through my body

Lost in a maze I’m lost in…

(chorus)

A hungry search for that hint of light
To save my soul from losing faith and pride
I’m losing grip with the conscious world
It’s eating me up inside

Lost in a maze I’m lost in…

(chorus) 2x

Lost in a maze of subconscious mind I feel the chains empowering me now
I’ve lost my grip of the conscious world
The walls are closing in…

(chorus) 2x


I WILL SURVIVE. I WILL FIGHT FROM ALL THIS CHAOS!