Mixed like a margarita my brain goes mush

As I try to figure out my animation homework on rotations, positioning, opacity and so on… I succeed in making the blue sphere rotate while moving to left to right but….My mind is elsewhere…
I feel….. like I'm in turmoil. Lots of mixed emotions. Like the blocks of ice were different subjects of my life and now it's all blended in a mush and I can't control the outcome.
I am scared….
I am scared that what I am doing is wrong. I am scared that I won't get a job. I am scared that I am letting my emotions rule my head. I am scared that things are going too well.. I am scared that everything will be tumbling down soon. I am scared that I will be hurt…. on and on… I'm scared.. I'm scared…
Why must I be in such distress? Why must I feel sadness,fear, resentment, mixed emotions in all stages…? I ache I can't speak I ache Why do I feel I have to help? Who will help me then? It hurts…

how foolish I am.. to be so weak. I am suppose to be the strong one that was my persona and look at me now… Too afraid of every moment of my life… I know I've been brainwashed but really I want to tell myself "get over it" but I seem to fail…
I need to believe in myself like I have all my life…. stop stop my fear go away…

Get out of that COCOON DAMN IT!

This is typically what I say to myself everyday I wake up because

Mixed like a margarita my brain goes mush...

But, today for just a little I reminisce.
An innocent grin from a sleeping face... Peaceful and so naive.. beautiful... let me just smile & watch for awhile…. Please let me dream a good dream a little longer. just a little longer...